I’m proud of my people, of our culture, our community. But what did you envision in your mind when I said my people? Did you think of a pure Chinese community? Or did you think of orange chicken, nail parlors and kung fu?
Let’s go back real quick… Though it was brief, I did mention in one of our earlier classes, that I am Malaysian. So let’s start from there.
I’m proud of my people, of our culture, our community. Now what do you envision? Now here’s my point, it isn’t wrong to envision a blank sheet. But it is wrong to restrict that blank sheet from an artist’s paintbrush; It is wrong to not allow yourself to learn, to brush it off as the wrong color of knowledge. the only wrong shade of grey is when you know that there exists a grey area yet to be explored, but you have yet to find the want or need to let it be explored.
I’m not being shady, I don’t mean – “get educated about it. just search it up”. Instead, I mean… if you don’t know much about us, I’d rather you tell me that you want to learn more.
However, it’s always the case that though you don’t know much about us, you’ve still never asked.
There’s a saying in mandarin – 井底之蛙, and in Bahasa - it’s katak di bawah tempurung. It basically means the frog at the bottom of the well. picture this. There’s a sunset, a forest-like setting, some bugs and insects, and a frog in a well. But if we focused on the perspective of the frog in the well, we’ll realize that the extent of what they can see, is that of the diameter of the well. So if we were to focus on the perspective as a frog in the well, the extent of what we know, is that of the diameter of the well. The well of a closed mind that limits us to learn more; The well of a stubborn mind that thinks that know it all. All is all but well.
Well okay…
When I say I’m from Malaysia, don’t just tell me “oh okay, cool” then switch the topic. I need to know that my people, my culture, and my community is worth being noticed. That we are worth being more than “oh okay, cool”.
Because, for a while, that ignorance made me hide my culture. I had to fit in. I’m in a foreign country, I can’t just go back home and get support from my parents. I had to make it through.
And with the way that I was brought up, we learn to take the punches, and not go against the tide. So no matter how many times I felt like the waves were eating me up, I had to hold my breath.
So for a bit, I rode the waves. When the Uber driver was commenting about the various Chinese restaurants that were in town, I just listened; when my professor emailed me, assuring me that he knows that English is hard, that I could reach out to him for accommodations whenever, when I grew up speaking English, I said Thank you. when some random person asked if I’ve watched Shang-Chi, I replied Yes; when I received news that my friends were harassed on the bus, having “brought Covid to the States”, I didn’t ride the bus for the next month.
But I don’t want to drown anymore. And I definitely don’t want to see anyone else drown anymore. I hope that one day we’ll be brave enough to set ourselves free from this fear. This fear of voicing out, to speak what’s on our mind.
We’re more than a stereotype, we’re not just ‘one type’. So why must we cage ourselves in a box they label as ‘Asians’. I’m Southeast Asian; but as I apply for a job, the only columns available are West Asia, Central Asia, Northern Asia, East Asia, South Asia, I now have to redeclare my nationality. I’m Malaysian Chinese; but when I say that, I may get a response in mandarin, that is 你好, but never in Bahasa, my country’s national language, that is Apa Khabar.
I want to shine a different light on us; we’re not all BTS fans, we’re not all in-love with Shang-Chi, we’re not all great at Mathematics; I know however, it is entirely up to us how we want to change this enigma. We have a voice, we just have to learn how to use it. And that’s what I’d like to be emancipated from; the fear of my culture, the fear of embracing who I am; and the fear of my own voice.
And with that, I’d like to start with you.
Let’s do this one more time, I’m from Malaysia. I’m Malaysian Chinese. And I’d like to show you a little snippet of what it may look like to be from Malaysia; But before that, please start yourselves off with a blank sheet, discard any color palette you may have that paints a stereotype of what you thought you knew, and allow yourselves to learn. Now, allow me to share with you, my people, my culture, and my community. And on behalf of us all, I’d like to thank you for letting us be heard.
Pulang by K-Clique
Comments